


Flying Too Close to the Sun

by Furuba_Fangirl



Series: Falling is Half the Fun [1]
Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, POV First Person, Robert's Route, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, it's Robert duh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 11:29:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11919951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Furuba_Fangirl/pseuds/Furuba_Fangirl
Summary: Time tends to heal all wounds, but it’s hard when something reopens them all over again. When a new dad comes to the cul-de-sac, Robert is unfortunately reminded of his time with Joseph. Although he’s tried to forget their affair, he knows history is doomed repeat itself with someone else. Things get complicated when his attempt at revenge leads to an emotional connection with his new neighbor.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfic I’ve written, so please bear with me, but feedback would be greatly appreciated. This story focuses mainly on Robert’s route from his perspective with a few extra scenarios sprinkled throughout (spoilers ahead, obviously). I’d thought it would be interesting to explore how Robert and Joseph’s relationship has affected Robert in the long-run. Also there will also be a lot of Mary/ Robert banter because I love their friendship. I kept Dadsona ambiguous so feel free to imagine him however you'd like! Let’s get this show on the road then :)

I can still remember the soft swaying motion of the yacht when I woke up the next morning. I could feel the warm beams of sunlight entering through the porthole as the sun began to rise. The rays illuminating Joseph's porcelain white face as he lied next to me in bed. I remember thinking to myself how lucky I was to have him there with me... How fucking stupid of me.

I had gotten up from the bed, trying not wake Joseph, and headed towards the bathroom. My body was aching from the previous night, but in a way that reminded me of the good time we had had together. I looked at myself in the mirror and examined all the scratches and hickeys he left on me, stupidly smiling to myself. It had been a while since Marilyn died that I was really with someone. Yeah, I had snagged a few patrons from Jim and Kim's to pass the time, but it was only to alleviate some of the numbness I felt; a way to remind myself I was still capable of feeling something. But with Joseph it was different. Every movement, every kiss, every touch felt meaningful. I felt like he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. Again, fucking stupid of me.

I hadn't really thought about our time together in a while, but all the memories flooded back when I saw Joseph walking up to the new neighbor's house with a plate of cookies. It reminded me of the first time that he reached out to me a few months after my wife was gone. He had brandished a plate of brownies and a nice bottle of wine. "I know you must be having a hard time lately, and I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Thought these might sweeten your day," he said cheerfully as he passed the items to me.

"Um, thanks?" I grumbled, trying not give away to the youth minister that I was already drunk at that hour of the day.

"You’re welcome!" He grinned excitedly with that sweet smile that I had once thought I loved. He looked at me and said," Listen, I know we haven’t really talked before, but just know that I'm only a few feet away if you ever just want some company."

"Sure, um... I'll think about it," I responded as I thumbed at the glass of the bottle.

"Great! Catch you later then!" He waved goodbye and I went inside. It was odd but it kinda felt nice that someone offered me their company (and the wine was a plus). So when I saw him flouncing up to the neighbor's house, playing the same stunt, it was just another reminder that I really wasn't anything special. He wore that same generous smile on his face and that powder blue sweater around his shoulders... The sweater Joseph once offered to protect me from the chilly morning air on his yacht. I should have known though. The moment that For Sale sign went up, it was like open season for Joseph. 

I watch him walk out with a confident stride and a triumphant smile like he knew he was already playing his cards right. The poor sucker was gonna get played just like me. The memories start becoming too much for me, so I pull out my phone. "Hey, want to meet up for drinks tonight?" I type out.

Not even a minute later I get the text back from Mary. "Say no more, I’m in!" I chuckle, remembering that I can always count on her, even though you know, I slept with her husband.


	2. Chapter 2

I walk into Jim and Kim's, then sit down at the bar as I wait for Mary to come. In the meantime, Neil already knows my order and hands me a glass of whiskey. Bless that man. 

As I'm about to finish up my first drink, Mary comes in with her hips swinging and sits herself down next to me. Neil comes in with a glass of wine for her within seconds. "You're slacking Neil," she jokes. "I was expecting it to be set out for me already."

"Sorry Mary," he laughs. "I'll try harder next time."

"I'm sure you will." She flashes him a smile and he goes back to serving the others. "Hey Robbie," she says as she roughly pats my shoulder. "Lemme guess. You’re drinking for the same reason I am tonight: Joseph trying to put his dick where it doesn't belong."

I let out a laugh, "You know me too damn well."

"You know I do." She scoffs, "And I know Joseph well too. He's already trying to cozy up to the new neighbor, the poor bastard."

"Well let's look on the bright side. Maybe after he dumps him we’ll have a new drinking buddy," I sarcastically remark.

"Oh no way, I'm only willing to let one of my husband's ex-lovers in this club. You should be honored," she says playfully. We both break out into a laugh, knowing full well the unusual circumstances that we became friends.

 

I was sitting at the booth, with a few drinks already in my system. I was trying to drown out the words that Joseph had said to me the day before. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Bullshit. "I have to think about my family. It’s just how things have to be." I wanted to strangle him, yell at him that he should've thought about that before he fucked me, but... I didn't. This was as much my fault, as it was his. I was the one that slept with a married man and part of me thought I deserved that result. Why should I get a happy ending when I've never been a good person to begin with? So I just played it off coolly, trying with every fiber of my being not to beat the shit out of him. After he left, I felt as if the rug had been pulled from under my feet. Any dream I had of a new life with him, was ripped away.

As I was moping over Joseph, I heard the clicking of heels approaching me followed by a little whistle. "Boy, do I know that look. That's the look of somebody getting left high and dry by a certain youth minister."

I felt my hand twitch with anger. "What the hell would you know?" I snapped and as I looked up I felt the color drain from my face. In front of me was Mary Christiansen, with a wine glass at hand and a stoic expression. I looked away out of shame and embarrassment. It was difficult to face the woman whose marriage I was willing to destroy (well even more).

I guess she figured out what I was thinking because she said," Don't kick yourself too hard." She gulped down the rest of her drink. "You're not the first to ‘ruin my marriage’ and you certainly won't be the last." She slid into the booth across from me.

I was dumbstruck, I didn't even know what to say to her. She said it so nonchalantly like she wasn't talking to the man that her husband cheated with. "So you knew?" is all I managed to get out.

“Yep," she answered taking my drink. "My husband isn't very creative. He'll get them when they're vulnerable then showers them with gifts and compliments. He'll tell them how awful our marriage is and that he's going to leave (knowing damn well he won't). Am I right so far?"

I stayed silent, each word adding salt to the wounds he left behind. "I'll take that as a yes. Oh and here's the kicker. He takes you out to his yacht and it mysteriously runs out of gas, oh dear! Then you're forced to keep each other’s company all night long."

At that point I found myself laughing, "Yep that sums it up. I guess that makes me a basic bitch, doesn’t it?" Mary raises an eyebrow and slight smile forms on her lips. While I couldn't believe I was so easily wooed by Joseph, I couldn't help feel bad for Mary. I examined her sunken eyes and pale face as she sipped my drink. Despite her finding the humorous side of the situation, she looked like she had been through the grinder. So worn down that she couldn't even find the strength to be mad anymore. I wave to Neil. "A few round of shots! My new friend Mary and I have a lot to talk about tonight."

At first, she seemed a little taken aback, but she gave me a mischievous grin. "Hell yeah!" She said enthusiastically.

 

We laugh at it now, but it still sits heavy on us: the pain of being toyed with by the same man who once said loved us. I see Mary's eyes drift away from me and I know that's a sign that she's found her next victim. "Sorry Rob, gonna have to leave you. Mama has to get her drink on." I laugh and let her do what she's gotta do. I turn my attention to The Game, but hear her sizing the guy up, "Buy a gal a drink?"

"Aah, maybe some other time," the guy says sheepishly. Mary sounds slightly annoyed but she's not one to cry over spilled milk (or in this case wine) so she quickly looks for another victim. 

I keep my attention on the game as I see that my team is winning. I kinda grumble out, "Go, team," without even noticing.

I hear someone ask, "Enjoying the game?" I look over and see a sort of familiar face. It takes me a while, but then I remember seeing him at the Coffee Spoon.


	3. Chapter 3

Earlier that evening, I had gone to the Coffee Spoon to get my daily dose of caffeine for my hungover ass. Not that I don't have my own coffee maker at home, but something about the ambient sound of the coffee shop helps ground me to reality. I heard Mat having a discussion with a couple of customers, something about helping him name his banana bread. The conversation was lively, not uncommon with Mat, but I couldn't help noticing that bubbly voice coming from their direction. I saw a girl, with who I assumed is her father. She had a toothy, lively smile; one that reminded me too much of Val when she was younger. And her father… he smiled at her like she was his most precious possession. I suddenly wished the black coffee I was holding was something stronger. As I stared, my eyes met with her father's. I should have been the one to look away first, but the guy quickly darted his eyes away, like he was the one intruding. Probably thought I would kill him if he stared too long.

And here he was again with a shy smile on his face. Almost like he couldn't believe he started talking to me. I decide to throw him a bone and answer the question, even though I don't do small talk. We have a quick banter about The Game then we introduce ourselves after it finishes and I decide to invite him to some shots. The kid looks like he's swallowing battery acid the first few times, but keeps up surprisingly well.I think after the alcohol settles into him, he has the confidence to compliment my leather jacket and I see pink starting to rise to his face. He's so coy when he says it that it's almost adorable...almost, I catch myself. I graciously accept the compliment trying to hide a small smile as I down my next shot. We keep our quaint conversation going until nature calls. When I come back out I see him still waiting there, dumbly swaying in his chair and I feel a slight tickle in my stomach. He really is adorable. I push the thought away and go back to tell him I'm going home.

We walk out together, and I'm thinking we'll part ways at some point but I see he's still heading the same direction as me. I tell him I live in the cul-de-sac ahead just to make sure he's not too drunk off his rocker that he doesn't realize where he's going.

“Me too,” he answers. “We just finished unpacking today.”  
The sudden realization hits me that's he's the new neighbor. The poor bastard that Joseph is just aching to bed. "Great place to be,” I remark. “Good neighbors. Well, some of them.” My memory drifting to a time where Joseph would gingerly put his lips on my neck as he hugged me from behind.

The kid’s eyebrows raise in confusion and he asks who I'm referring to. I brush the question off by saying," I don't kiss and tell." He still has that cute, confused look on his face but drops it. God, he's so naive, he's gonna get eaten alive by him, unless... We get closer to my place and a dark, primal thought creeps up on me. Before I even have time to process it, I impulsively blurt out, "So, are we doing this or what?"

"What?" He asks so innocently it almost hurts.

“You know. Do you wanna come inside, or not?”

His face starts to turn red, as he finally realizes what I'm offering him. He's still swaying a little bit and stammers, "Well...I don't see why not," trying his best to lay it on smoothly.

I'm not proud of it, but I feel a surge of triumph as he answers. "Let's do it." I lead him into the house and as soon as we're inside, I push him into the wall and start kissing him. I hear him gasp and feel him shudder at my touch. It reminds how invigorating is to feel someone wanting me, even if it’s just for a quick night of pleasure. Cause that’s all that it’s going to be, right? As I lead him into the bedroom all I can think is, "Why should Joseph have a first go at him? He doesn't get to take anything he wants like a spoiled brat. I deserve to have something he wants. Besides, if the kid’s this easy then why should I feel bad?"

When we get to the bedroom, I take off my jacket and watch him clumsily take off his. "And, he's pretty attractive so there's that,” I think to myself. I kiss him again and start to feel for his belt.

"I-I, uh. I don't normally...do this..." I hear him stutter.

His hesitation makes me feel a sudden wave of guilt like I swallowed a rock and it was settling to the pit of my stomach. The same feeling I would get anytime I came home drunk to Marilyn; her eyes giving me that oh too familiar look of disapproval as I silently went back to bed. "Do you want to stop?” I ask anxiously waiting for his answer.

"Yes," he swallows, trying to catch his breath.

I step back and look at him. His hair already tousled up a bit, his pupils dilated and his face still sweetly flushed. "Alright," I finally respond.

"I think I'm gonna head home. Sorry," he mutters, as he embarrassingly rubs his arm.

He's so goddamn polite about it too. It makes me feel even more disgusted with myself. "Nah, it's cool." I walk him out to the front door. He waves goodbye with that goofy smile of his and I wave back as I close the door.


	4. Chapter 4

I wake up the next morning, aching all over my body. For a moment, I think it’s because I got lucky last night, but then I realize I had just fallen asleep on the floor. As Betsy licks my face, last night’s events start coming back: getting drunk (obviously), trying to bang the new kid on the block, and then watching him leave out the door before the deed was done. I also remember feeling like such a shitty person for trying to dick the poor guy just so I could say I had gotten him before Joseph did. Knowing how I am, I probably would have kicked him out in the morning and pretended like he never existed despite us being neighbors. Thrown him away like he was nothing because I really am no better than Joseph. But I didn’t have to do that to him. He left, even though I could see how riled up he was because he was the bigger person. He had enough respect for himself not to go to bed with a man like me…

I hear my phone ring inside my pocket, and see it’s Mary as I pull it out. “Hey,” I groan with a dry throat.

“Rise and shine, Rob! It’s barbeque day and you are obligated to me to get your ass over here.” Her voice reverberates through my throbbing head. “It’s also your neighborly duty to welcome the new guy.”

“Believe me, I was more than willing to last night,” I mention, rubbing my hand on my temple.

“Wait, what?” Mary wonders.

“I’ll tell you some other time, but I’m gonna have to skip out today.”

“Oh no, you won’t! You’re not gonna let me be miserably alone, especially now that I know you have something juicy to tell!”

“Mare--”

“Listen, Small,” she interrupts, “you’re coming whether you like it or not. If you don’t I guess that Bigfoot/ Vampire smut fic you told me you’re working on will be the topic of discussion at the party.”

“You wouldn’t dare, bitch!” I hissed.

“Don’t try me, asshole,” she snickers. “How’d it go again? ‘He ran his pale hand, down his back then squeezed his furry ass--’”

“Alright, I’ll be there!” I yell, slowing dying of embarrassment. I can’t believe my drunk ass _actually_ told her about that.

“Splendid! See you then buddy!” She hangs up the phone. Great, not only will I have to deal with Joseph, now I had to face the new guy. But… I’d rather have that a thousand times than let Mary leak my dirty little secret!

I make my way to Joseph’s backyard and I see Mat, Craig, and Brian, each with their kids. I give them all a nod as I walk towards Mary, who’s already helping herself to the wine. She sees me and wraps me in a hug. “Robert, I’m glad you could make it!” she teased with a smug smile on her face.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Mary.” From the corner of my eye, I can see Joseph standing nearby. His shoulders are tensed but he still has that fake smile plastered on his face.

“Robert, nice to see you!” Joseph exclaims. Fucking liar.

“Of course it is. I light up the room when I step in, right Mary?” She rolls her eyes but gives a nod of approval, much to Joseph’s annoyance. Oh, how I wish I had a camera when Joseph first saw me with Mary when I dropped her off. The face of utter mortification he had was priceless.

Joseph excuses himself the first chance he gets to greet Hugo and Damien as they walk in. Mary starts, “So now that the hubby’s gone, tell me about your adventure last night?”

“Heh, I knew you were itching to ask. First, give me a drink.” She graciously serves me it and I retell, “Remember the guy I was talking to last night?”

“Hm, the nervous little twerp that didn’t get me a drink. Yep, I remember.”

“Well he’s our new neighbor and I was gonna fuck him,” I state bluntly.

Mary reels, “Wait are you serious? Jesus, Robert you dog, the poor guy could barely stand. Let me guess, he fell asleep halfway through,” she giggles.

“Ha, believe me, he would not have fallen asleep on me if he had given me the chance,” I brag. “I got him up to the bedroom, but he… changed his mind.” I can still see how apologetic his face seemed when he left. As if he did something wrong, even though he had every right to turn me down.

“Ohh, he realized why your last name is Small, huh?” She smirks as she wiggles her pinky finger at me.

I let out a chuckle, “Ah, Mary what would I do without you?”

“You’d be utterly lost that’s for sure,” she laughs, but then her smile sort of falters and I can see why. New Guy walks in with his daughter and Joseph swoops right in to greet them. I watch her pour more wine into her glass. “So the fun begins,” she says trying to make it sound like a joke, but I know Mary. She tries to make light of the situation, but Joseph’s audacity always pains her to the core.

I put my hand lightly on her shoulder. “Chin up, champ, and go make yourself be known.” She gives me her best smile to mask her sad eyes and she saunters off to officially meet her new neighbor.

As I pour myself more whiskey, Brian walks up to the table as jolly as ever. “Rob, nice shindig, huh?” he bellows.

I nod in agreement and I listen to him go on about his camping trip. While he rambles, I make sure to keep a watchful eye on New Guy. I see him with that same nervous smile as his daughter motivates him to talk with people. He seems to hesitate, but once he starts to approach people, it’s like he’s known them all for years. His eyes bright and his voice airy and everyone seems to be enthralled by him. Why wouldn’t they be? He’s like a candlelight flame, giving off a warmth and soft glow that nobody could stay away from. The selfish part of me wishes I could have basked in his light last night. Wish I could have felt some of his warmth on my cold body— Oh shit, he’s looking over! He seems just as worried to see me, maybe he’ll just walk away—

“Hey, neighbor,” Brian beckons. Shit.

He meekly walks towards us, God he looks so intimidated. I have no right to be near him. If he stayed too close to me…I’d just extinguish him.  
Brian tries to introduce us but the kid admits, “Yeah, we’ve met.”

He looks anxious, waiting to see what I’m going to say. I try to cut the awkwardness by saying, “Good seeing you again,” as I take another sip. Brian is oblivious to the palpable tension between the two of us and steers the conversation forward. My brilliant idea of diffusing the situation is telling some bullshit story about a camping trip gone wrong, but by the stunned expression that both New Guy and Brian have, it’s not really panning out. While I do tell them I’m kidding, the kid’s scared face was just too cute so I keep teasing. “Or am I?” There it is again. “I’m kidding.” Brian still looks a little shocked, but relief washes over New Guy’s face and he gives me a grin of approval. Almost like he gets it…gets that’s just my sense of humor. I hear Joseph call everyone over for burgers and we make our way over.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place on Robert’s second date with Dadsona. Kinda skipped over the 1st date just for time’s sake so, sorry about that. Hopefully you enjoy anyways!

I didn’t expect any of this to happen. I thought I had ruined everything with him and that he would never want to give me another minute of his time. But here we are, sitting in my truck listening to Tom Waits in silence. I thought that the first time we hung out after the barbeque was a disaster. Messaging him back on Dadbook was a shot in the dark I decided to take, but I panicked last minute and brought Mary along. Not only that, my idea of a good time was getting him drunk again which resulted in a broken car window, sneaking into a shitty rom-com and him getting assaulted by a kid. Despite that, he was gracious about us hanging out. But, in my fucked up head, I thought that in the morning he’d wake up and regret everything. The thought that he would figure out I was too much to handle was enough to have me spiral into one of those weeks that I don’t leave the house, substitute meals with ethanol, and only get out of bed to check on Betsy. It really was pathetic of me. I barely know the guy and the idea of him giving up on me pushed me off the deep end (not that it’s very hard for me to fall into a drinking binge). I figured if a guy like him who’s kind and patient and literally gets along with everyone, realizes that I’m no good then what’s the point.

I knew I couldn’t keep up the moping shit for too long, so I sobered up enough to go for a drive. Before I headed out I managed to check Dadbook and I was surprised to see the kid had messaged me. I couldn’t believe he still reached out to me. Even if it was late and knew he probably wasn’t awake, I owed it to him to at least to invite him since he checked up on me. Of course, he was in his pajamas when I messaged him back, but the kid ever the optimist hopped in with me. He was trusting me to take him wherever I had planned and…it moved whatever heart I have left. And just like that, we were off into the night.

We reach the overlook and get out to sit on the bed of the truck. As the kid sits down next to me, I see his eyes glisten. I watch his eyes scan the horizon in awe and see a small smile of blissful contentment form. I want to store the memory like a picture so that when the day comes that I inevitably disappoint him, I'll remember I did at least one thing right by him. However, this is me so this sentimental moment doesn’t last long before I bluntly comment, “This is where I come to masturbate.”

“WHAT?” he exclaims.

“I’m kidding. What’s wrong with you?” I chuckle. “This is my little spot where I like to think.”

“It’s nice,” he compliments.

“You can see the whole city from up here. Really gives you some perspective.” For once, I wasn’t bullshitting the kid. There was a time where I had reached my breaking point. Marilyn was gone, Joseph dumped me and my only daughter hated me. I saw no point anymore, so I left Betsy with a week’s worth of food and water with a note to Mary to find her a good home. I got in my truck and kept driving, not really knowing where to. When I drove by the overlook all I could think was, “Floor it. Don’t think, just do it and it’ll be done. You won’t have to feel this pain anymore.” I was ready to, I had my foot on the accelerator, but before I reached the ledge I hit the brake. I was such a coward that I couldn’t even go through with it, so instead, I stayed there having a fucking mental breakdown. After I got most of it out of my system, I stepped out to have a smoke and everything was just so calm. The night, the city lights, the forest, they all seemed to envelop me in a peacefulness I hadn’t felt in years. “Maybe I’ll stick around a little longer,” I sighed.

I snap back to reality and take out my knife and a piece of wood from my jacket pocket to start whittling. Oh man, does he look scared. I joke about harvesting his organs and he plays along. I decide to teach him the basics of whittling and as I explain it to him I can’t help but notice his attentiveness. His eyes watching me intently, tracing every callous and scar on my hands. He’s sitting in a place with an amazing view, yet his eyes linger on me like I’m the only thing there… Or I could just be flattering myself. I let him give it a go and I go back to carving myself. We sit there whittling for a while, the sound of knives against wood soothing me from the week of personal hell I put myself through.

“Um. Uh…” I hear the kid mutter, but I don’t really put much attention as I finish up my wooden knife. “Robert, I’m dying.” I look over and see the blood trickling down his thumb. “I’m bleeding to death.”

“Awe shit, Kid.” I pull out a bandana and wrap it around to stop the bleeding. I try to stay calm for him as I go get the first aid kit, but I feel like such an ass. I should’ve been paying more attention to him. God, I think I’m cursed. I run back and start tending to his wound, but I can’t help noticing how soft his hands are. I try to stay concentrated on the problem at hand, but my mind keeps wandering to how much I would like to kiss his hand. How I would kiss every inch of it and work my way up his arm to his neck and eventually to his lips. Lips that I have been craving to taste again since that night we first met. Lips that I want to have moan my name as he strokes every part of me with those soft hands—

I hurry up wrapping his thumb up to avoid popping a stiffy right in front of him. I hand him the tube antiseptic, avoiding eye contact so he doesn’t see my unholy thoughts through them. “Make sure to keep that cut clean.” When I finally look back at him he has an appreciative smile on his face. I crack a joke about the cryptids finding him now and I tell him about my “encounter” with the Dover Ghost.

He squints his eyes at me, “You’re lying.” Damn, kid’s learning to sniff out my bullshit. Before I can answer him, we hear a howling in the distant. He thinks I’m messing with him but I’m just as freaked out as he is. We see something in the forest, and we both agree it’s time to high-tail it out of there.

When we get back on the road, we try to calm ourselves down. After the initial shock of the situation subsides I finally break the silence. “Thanks for coming out. This was fun.” He didn’t have to… He didn’t have to waste his time but here he is. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch… I’ve just been in a way lately. I had to get out of the house,” I confess. “…Had to be around someone.”

“You doing okay, man?” he inquires, his tone holding a hint of concern.

I stay silent, wary of unloading my baggage on to him. Afraid of being vulnerable with him, remembering how well that went the last time I trusted someone. I light a cigarette and before I know it I start rambling about everything. All the dark thoughts I’ve been having come spilling out, but I keep them vague enough as to not scare him away.

“I’m glad you told me,” he admits. “It must’ve taken a lot for you to want to tell somebody this. You’re a mysterious guy, Robert. You don’t have to be”

As I hear him say that, my heart aches from the genuineness of his words. He has nothing to gain from me opening up to him, yet he takes it like some sort of privilege. “Do you…ever...wish you were a better father?” I sigh. Why would he want to be one? He’s already a perfect father with a daughter who adores him to no end. I expected him to say no, but…he didn’t. He put all his insecurities out on the table, even mentioning how he wanted to be a better father than his. He was wearing his heart on his sleeves for me…

“Hurt like hell when I had to leave him to die in that Belarusian prison,” he states.

“What?” I exclaim, a little stunned.

He looks at me with an impish smile on his face. “No. He’s retired in Florida with my mom. We go there every Christmas.” I break out in laughter and he follows suit. This kid…he really is something else. The rest of the ride home we don’t talk because there’s no more to be said, but we sit there enjoying each other’s company nonetheless.

I drop him off at his house, letting him keep my pocket knife, and I pull into my driveway. I sit in the truck for a while and close my eyes to mull over the night’s events. When I open my eyes, I catch myself smiling in the rearview mirror; that same stupid smile I had on that morning on the yacht. As dread starts taking over, I feel my heart race in my chest, my hands start to shake and every breath I take in feels like it’s through a straw. I clamber out of my truck and onto the floor. I clutch the grass of my lawn, trying to catch my breath. The thought that I’m actually falling for this guy is too much for me to handle, and I can’t get that stupid thought out my head. Why? Why couldn’t we have just fucked that night? Why couldn’t we have just ignored each other after that? Why did we get the chance to know each other? Why did I have to fall for him? Fuck. Fuck this! Fuck me! Fuck him— No…wait…none of this is his fault. I take a deep breath through my nose and exhale through my mouth. I roll onto my back and lie on the grass. He’s done everything right…he’s been a good friend. _I’m_ the fucked up one. I’m drowning and I’ll end up dragging him down with me in order to save myself. Today he listened to me, but how long before he gets tired of my complaining…before he realizes I’m a lost cause. I look over to his house and see the light flicker off. I cover my eyes with my arm as I swallow the lump in my throat. He deserves better…his daughter deserves better. It’s time for me to let go of him. I have to distance myself before I completely fall in love with him. I shudder at the mere thought. I’ve destroyed enough lives with my “love”.

I lift myself off the ground and head inside, forcing myself not to look back. I drag my tired body to bed and lay down, not bothering to change. I know it’ll hurt him at first when I ignore him and it’ll hurt like hell seeing that face of his. That face he makes when he thinks he’s done something wrong, but it’s for the best. He’ll move on to someone better, someone he actually deserves. It’ll suck to see, but I’ll be happy for him…


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Dadsona has gone on a few dates with the other Dads. Also, Mary and Robert hit a snag in their friendship so be prepared.

It’s like the universe has it out for me…like it won’t leave me alone until I pay for all the mistakes I’ve made. I promised myself I wouldn’t reach out to him and that I would avoid him as much as possible. I never answered any invitations from him after the night we went to the overlook. I wanted to so badly, but I didn’t give into my selfishness. I think he started taking the hint that I didn’t want to see him because I started seeing him hanging out with some of the other dads. Finally, I thought I could breathe and move on from him. Nope. Fate is cruel that way. 

The first run in I had with him was in the forest. He was with Craig looking for his baby’s stuffed capybara. God, the way he looked at me… Like he wanted an explanation for why I hadn’t gotten back to him and I couldn’t even look him in the eyes. I tried my best to dismiss them, but the kid is too smart for his own good. He threatened to spoil Long Haul Ice Road Paranormal Ghost Truckers for me and there was no way in hell I was gonna let that punk screw me like that! I told them what I knew and that was it…I watched him leave with Craig and he was still glancing back at me. 

The second incident was a couple weeks later at the graveyard while I was cryptid hunting with Betsy. She ran away from me and, of course, Damien and the kid were the ones to find her. I managed to convince them that Betsy was just a random dog I found, trying to keep the ruse that I had a pitbull. Normally, I’d find it funny that I pulled one over the kid but not this time. It just reminded me that we were growing apart and that he was forgetting my sense of humor. It’s what I wanted, but my heart still aches in disappointment. Anytime I saw him with someone else that wasn’t me, all I wanted to do was grab him by the hand and take him away. Tell him he was mine and mine alone, but…what good would that do. Even if I had him, I wouldn’t appreciate him.

I think about all this as I sit at Jim and Kim’s. I had been trying to cut back on the drinks just to make sure I wouldn’t go knocking on the kid’s door in my drunken state, but today I decided to have few a more.

“Robert, you dumbass!” Mary fumes. 

“Love you too, Mare,” I respond, not really in the mood to find out why she’s mad at me. I assume she’s probably had a few extra glasses of wine than usual.

“You realize what you’ve done,” she chides.

“Care to enlighten me?” 

“Well since you were too much of a pussy to keep going after the nerd, guess who’s he’s started hanging out with,” I see her lip twitching in anger. I feel my stomach lurch, knowing damn well who’s the only person in this world that makes her that mad.

“No… No, no, no he wouldn’t hang out with Joseph!” I feel like the room is spinning. It’s like the final “fuck you” from the universe.

“Oh yes he would, he’s already helped him with the bake sale and now he’s helping him with the dance,” she explains. “Why do you think that is?”

“Don’t you dare say anything, Mary!” I warn, feeling my blood pressure starting to rise.

She ignores my warning and continues, “It’s ‘cause you didn’t have the balls go after the guy who was clearly head-over-heels for you!”

“Mary, I’m serious--”

“Oh look at me I’m Robert, and I push away the people who actually care about me!” she taunts. “Well, now the guy who screwed you over is gonna come in and take him right from under your nose!”

“Well, maybe if you kept a leash on your husband, none of this would be happening!” I growl.

“Maybe if people like you weren’t so easy to manipulate he wouldn’t get away with it!” 

“Maybe if you were a better wife and mother, he wouldn’t be looking to fuck everyone he comes into contact with!” I snap. The moment those words pass my lips, I instantly regret them. I wish I could take them back, but it is too late…I had said them. If I had stabbed Mary in the back, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t look as hurt as she does now. “…Mary, I--”

“Fuck you,” she whimpers. She turns around and heads out the door. 

I follow after her, apologizing profusely. “Mary! Mary, stop! I know none of this is your fault! I’m the asshole! I’m…”

She stops dead in her tracks and I can see her shoulders go up and down. When I hear her sniffle, it finally hits me that she’s crying. In all the years I’ve known her, never once has she shed a tear over Joseph. No matter how many times he was an asshole to her, she still kept her tough bitch attitude. Now here I was, watching the only person I’ve considered a true friend crumbling before me and what’s worse…it’s because of something I said. 

“Do you realize how hard it is, Rob?” she finally chokes out. “Can you even imagine how hard it is to lie next to someone who doesn’t care if you’re there or not? Someone who keeps you around just so others don’t judge him.”

Her words cut into my like swords. “I could never imagine Mary,” I mutter. 

“Well let me paint you a picture then!” she barks. I wince at the tone of her voice. “It’s like being his shadow, constantly having to follow him behind but never really getting acknowledged. He’s the light and you’re just the ugly side of him he tries to hide. And at night, he doesn’t even touch you anymore because you’re just dead air to him. And if he does touch you, you cringe because you know damn well it’s just to satisfy his own disgusting instincts and you’re just too…damn tired to protest,” she sighs heavily and hugs her arms like the thought itself is violating. “You feel like you can’t break free because without him you’re nothing. No matter what he’ll be the saint, he’ll be the light of your children’s eyes. Children who you love dearly, but you’re too exhausted to show them,” her voice quivers and she breaks out into a full lamentation.  
I pull her into a tight hug and I can feel her tears soaking into my shirt. It was like all those years of bottling up her emotions, erupted in one swift moment.

“I’m sorry, Mary,” I whisper into the top of her head.

“Why should you be sorry?” she hiccups. “It’s not like what you said was a lie. I really am a lousy wife and an even worse mother!” Those words resonating too much with me. 

“Hey!” I scold. I lift her chin up so she looks at me. Her eyes are puffy and her mascara is running down her cheeks. “Firstly, I said that because I’m a dick, and we both know it. Secondly, you’re a better mother than most people in this town.” She rolls her eyes at me. “I’m serious, do you think a prissy bitch like Edith or any of the PTA moms could handle someone like Joseph,” I scoff. She gives me a weak laugh. “They’d run for the hills, but not you because you’re stronger. Because despite how much pain he causes you, you’re still there willing to fight for your family. If that’s not being a good mother, then I don’t know what the fuck is. Joseph is the fucking idiot for not realizing who he has beside him.” I wipe the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Mary nuzzles her head into my chest. “Thank you, Robert,” she croaks out. She looks up at me with a small, tearful smile. “Now tell me…when did you grow a vagina? ‘Cause that was the corniest shit that’s ever come out of your mouth.” We both bust out laughing. Seeing her make snarky comments reassures me that she was gonna be just fine.

“I think the kid’s done a number on me. He must be a demon that is possessing me to expose my sensitive side. Kill me, Mary, before it’s too late and I start talking about my feelings,” I joke.

Mary hums, “Tempting, but I don’t think he’s a demon. However, he does have you wrapped around his little finger but probably for a non-supernatural reason.

“Oh, and what would that be?”

“Because you love him,” she chimes.

“Tch, please, love is for chumps,” I tut.  
“Guess that makes you a chump then,” Mary shrugs.

I let out a big sigh and run my fingers through my hair. “I really fucked up with him, didn’t I?”

“You don’t say,” she says, feigning shock. 

We let the silence linger and start making our way back to the cul-de-sac. As I drop Mary off, she pulls me into a hug. “You know it’s too late for me, but…you still have a chance to start over,” she murmurs.

“I know…I’m just not sure I deserve that chance… If I’ve earned it.” I give her one last squeeze before I let her go.

“Smell you later, loser.” 

“Right back at you.” I watch her enter the house before I start making my way home. 

The house is quiet aside from Betsy’s soft snores. From the corner of my eye I see the red blinking of my answering machine, indicating someone left a message. I click on the button not really thinking. From it, I hear a haunting voice vibrate through the speaker, “Um…hey Dad, it’s Val…” My knees feel like they’re about to buckle. “I know this is short notice…but I was thinking of coming down to Maple Bay next weekend… Thought we could catch up and maybe grab a coffee… Uh, let me know if you’re interested, ‘kay? Bye…” The message ends with a click. Val…I’d forgotten how her voice sounded and as the years have gone by, she sounds more like her mother. She wants to see me… She wants to talk…to give me a chance.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place on the third date, but it's an extra conversation than that of the gameplay.

I watch the kid nervously tap at his glass of whiskey as we sit at the bar together, neither of us really knowing what to say. After I got Val’s message, I felt like I couldn’t handle the pressure alone. I hate myself for using him as a crutch, but I just wanted to be near him. When I messaged him, he answered so excitedly like I hadn’t been ghosting him for the past few weeks. He even noticed that I cleaned up (secretly for him but I would never admit it to him).

“So,” we simultaneously exclaim.

“Uh…you first,” he offers.

“…It’s been a while, huh? Um…sorry about that. I know I’ve been a shitty friend,” I sigh.

“N-no, you don’t have to apologize for anything. I get it. I get that you need your space, I was just worried about you that’s all…” his voice trails off.

“Well I appreciate the sentiment,” I playfully nudge his shoulder. “So, what have you been up too lately?” I ask even though I know he’s been with better company.

“Well, I’ve kind of taken the time to get to know everyone around the neighborhood. You were right, everyone is great!”

“Hmph, even Joseph?” I pout as a pang of jealousy starts to rise.

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool, despite being a youth minister.”

I huff, “Pfft, what, did he take you to Margarita Zone already--” I try to cut myself off but it’s too late. Maybe he won’t catch on?

“Wait, how’d you know about…?” Dammit.

I feel the heat rising to my cheeks and glance away. “Hate to burst your bubble kid, but he uses the same trick on everyone,” I grumble. God, I wish the floor would just swallow me whole.

“O-oh. I would have never guessed…” I hold my breath, anticipating him to start questioning more. Instead, he whines jokingly, “Damn and here I thought it was because of my irresistible charm.” I finally look over to him to see a sincere smile on his face. I know that he recognizes something happened between Joseph and me, the kid isn’t that _slow_ , but…I don’t see any judgment in his eyes.

I let out a small sigh of relief now that I see he isn’t going to pry. “Sorry, Kid, I’m just trying to keep you from getting a swelled head.”

“Thanks for keeping my ego in check, Robert,” he laughs. His smile weakens a little and I see him stare at the bottom of his glass. “Truth be told I figured Joseph wanted more than just a friendship. He had even mentioned to me about going with him on his yacht, but…I couldn’t bring myself to accept his offer.” I feel my jaw clench at the thought of him waiting at the marina for Joseph. “It wasn’t just him,” he continues. “There were other invitations left up in the air that I just couldn’t accept because…my heart was always somewhere else.”

I feel my insides flutter in response to what he says. “So where was it?”

He finally breaks the stare from his drink and gives me a side-eye glance, staying silent. I could feel the air around us getting hotter. He finally answers, “Beats me. Probably just wanted to be on my living room couch.” A chuckle escapes my lips. Fucking tease. “Hey, but in all seriousness… I’m glad we’re hanging out again,” he smiles and raises his glass to me. “Here’s to your continued existence.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A LOT of the original dialogue from the game. Couldn't bring myself to change it.

As we walk back to the cul-de-sac, I see the kid gawking at the shirt that we managed to swindle out of the ghost tour. The kid is such a ditz, but he was an amazing partner in crime. He never missed a beat. We come to the front of my house and can’t help smile at how far we’ve come together. I kinda wish this night would never end… “Wanna have a drink?” I ask tentatively. I wouldn’t be surprised if he turns me down given what happened last time we were here.

“Is that even a question? Robert, how long have you known me? Do you really think that I would turn down the opportunity to share a fine, alcoholic beverage with my treasured friend and accomplice, Mr. Robert “Bobert” Small?

I try to suppress a smile at his lame attempt at giving me a pet-name. “If you ever call me Bobert again, I will kick you right in the shins. Both of ‘em.”

“Then you can expect an angry phone call from my orthopedist in the morning…Bobert.”

I can’t hold in my laugh anymore, this kid I swear. I unlock the door and we make our way into the house. I hear Betsy charging up to us and the kid looks like he’s about to get mauled. When he realizes that she’s the same dog from the graveyard and isn’t going to get eaten alive, he starts giving her belly rubs. As we make our way into the living room, I wish I had cleaned up beforehand. There are clothes and empty bottles strewn across the living room and yet the kid has a look of admiration while he surveys his surroundings.

As I hand him his drink, he asks me how I got the scar on my chest, not willing to take a bullshit answer this time. I tell him about the bike accident I had with Val and he’s a little blindsided that I mentioned my daughter. I try to answer his questions about her, but it pains me that I can’t give him any more details. _“Um…hey Dad, it’s Val…”_ I shake the thought away. I try to relieve some of the tension that’s building. “You like Santana?” He nods in response. I let the needle fall onto the vinyl record and the soft melody starts to fill the air. I plop myself on to the couch next to him and down my drink hoping it’ll help me forget Val’s message.

“Hey…are you alright?” I look over to him and see his eyebrow slightly furrowed in worry.

I stare at him and I feel myself gravitating towards him. As my lips touch his, I feel him tense up, but then he lets himself get absorbed. I pull away and whisper, “I am now.” I don’t want to think about facing Val or…the possibility of disappointing her all over again. All I want is this. I kiss him again and start laying him down on the couch. I feel the warmth radiating from him as I caress his skin under his shirt and I savor his supple lips as I gently nibble on them. I part away from his lips and slowly kiss down his neck.

“It’s not that,” he exhales. I ignore him and nip down on his neck, grinning as I hear a small moan escape his throat. “Stop.”

I feel my body tense, thinking I had overstepped the line. I pull away and see a face of distress from him. “No biting?”

“No, no. I’m more than okay with that. Somethings up.” He’s staring at me with such intensity as if he’s trying to dissect what’s going through this fucked up brain of mine.  
I avert my eyes thinking he might actually see through me. “I’m fine. I’ve just been kinda stressed out. Tired. Not a big deal,” I lie. I hope that he just drops it, but I can tell that’s he’s not gonna let this go easily.

“Listen. I want this as badly as you do,” he explains calmly. “But I know something’s wrong. I need to make sure you’re okay.” His words are so smooth and gentle as he says them.

I can’t bear to look at him but I murmur, “You don’t know me that well, Kid. I’m not…a good person,” I admit with a heavy heart. Words start spilling from my mouth and just like that he coaxes the truth about Val and Marilyn from me. The truth is ugly and messy, and retelling it just reminds how much of a horrible person I am. “I spent so much time chasing after things I thought were gonna make me happy, that I ruined my only chance at happiness. Now my wife is dead and my daughter hates me. And I convinced myself this,” I gesture between us, “was gonna make me happy. Why do I even try anymore?” I shake my head.

“I’m so sorry. I know how hard it is to--” he starts.

“No, you don’t,” I snap and see him flinch a little. “How could you possibly know how this feels? You did everything right. Your daughter loves you. You’re a good person. I was a terrible husband and I’m an even worse father. I have no idea why she’s even bothering to contact me now, I know I’m just gonna fuck it up like I always do. I’m broken, I shouldn’t even go…” Defeat starts settling in and I just cover my face, trying to hide my shame from him. Now he knows what a shitty person I am and I’m just waiting for him to walk out the door. I wouldn’t even blame him if he did.

“Nothing is going to change unless you do,” he remarks. I look at him and he has a stern, yet understanding look on his face. He continues telling me what I need to hear, not trying to pussyfoot around the matter. “Val is giving you a chance. Don’t waste it.” I try to protest, but he cuts me off. “Robert. Listen to me. It’s going to be okay.” He looks at me with those gentle eyes of his, not breaking contact for a second.

“But…” I start not really knowing what I was going to say. Before I can finish my thought, he pulls me into his arms. His hold is tight and reassuring and I embrace him back. I feel him place a hand lovingly on the back of my head and he lightly strokes it, a gesture so tender that I collapse into a sob. I feel stupid, even childish, but I know he doesn’t care. “…thank you…” is all I manage to choke out. I cling onto him and a sense of peace washes over me like I didn’t have to carry my own cross anymore. I let myself be overwhelmed by this tranquility and I drift off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

I open my eyes and see slits of light peeping through the blinds of my living room window. Wait. Why does it feel like my couch is breathing? I lift my head up and see that I had fallen asleep on the kid’s chest. I take in his serene expression and nestle my head onto his chest again. I listen to his soft, steady breathing and the gentle thumping of his heart. We might not have had the night of ecstasy that I had fantasized about, but I wouldn’t trade this for anything else. He starts to stir underneath me and I feel his hand making small circles on my back. I look up and our eyes meet. “Morning,” he yawns, flashing a sleepy smile. 

“Morning.” I don’t want to leave this comfy spot but I peel myself off of him to stretch.

He sits up rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“About 10:00,” I answer. “…Sorry I kept you here. I didn’t realize I was so tired.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t want to leave anyway,” he reassures. “Plus you make a killer blanket, so there’s that.”

“Heh, and you make a good pillow, but I figured since you’re so soft,” I playfully poke his stomach. 

“Hey!” he giggles. He leans his head back on the couch and sighs, “I have to head out. I’m throwing a surprise graduation party for Amanda and I have to get things ready for tomorrow.” He looks over to me, “You’re welcome to come by if you want.”

“Yeah, I just…have to clear some things up first.”

He nods knowing what I’m referring to. “See you later then.” He gets up and I walk him out. Before he leaves he turns around and hugs me. “Good luck,” he whispers.

“Thanks,” I mumble. He let’s go and starts making his way back home. As he leaves, I notice Joseph is outside about to drop off the kids to their last day of school. He realizes the kid just left from my house and he meets my gaze. I stare back at him and because I’m petty, I give him a cheeky wink. I see an eyebrow twitch and he goes back to wrangling the kids into the car. I know I shouldn’t be passive-aggressively gloating to Joseph considering nothing happened last night but at the same…it’s like everything happened. 

I close the door and head into the living room. I pick up my phone and start dialing. I feel my legs shaking in anticipation as it starts ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hey…Val. It’s your old man. Um…I was wondering if you’re still coming down today.”

“Oh, hey. Yeah, I’ll be there in a couple hours.”

“Great, uh, how about you come to the house and then we can go get coffee?”

“Sounds like a plan, but…on one condition.”

“Um, what’s that,” I gulp.

“You gotta let me cuddle with Betsy first,” she demands.

I huff out a laugh, “Deal.”

“See you then, Dad.”

“See you…” I hear her hang up. I let out a sigh of relief.

The hours go by in a flash and before I realize it I’m sitting in front of Val at the Coffee Spoon. I watch her pour packets of sugar and creamer into her coffee. It’s amazing how much she’s grown up to look like Marilyn.

She catches me staring. “What?”

“Uh, nothing! It’s just…I see you still defile your coffee with that shit,” I comment.

“Hmph, black coffee tastes like liquid shit without it.”

“That’s the whole point,” I defend.

She smiles a little. “Still as hard-headed as ever, huh?” This is the first time I’ve heard her say that without any animosity behind it. 

“So…how are things back at Brooklyn?”

“They’re good. Job is good. Um…I’ve actually been seeing someone for the past year. We’re thinking of moving in together.”

“Oh, congrats. Uh, who’s the lucky guy?” 

Val kinda snickers, “See for yourself.” She hands me her phone. I see a picture of Val sidled up to a girl with brown eyes and strawberry blonde hair. “Her names Tessa.”  
“You look happy together. I’m glad…” Val’s made a good life for herself. I still don’t get why she’s here.

“Thanks. I met her when her abusive boyfriend tried to run her over with his car. I had a flat tire and saw him trailing her. I stepped in and smashed his window with my car jack. Threatened to smash in his dick too if he ever came near her again.”

“Woah, Val that’s…” I see her lip twitch, “bullshit.”

“Damn, I thought I had finally gotten you,” she laughs. “I met her at work.”

She’s laughing…“Well you know what they say, ‘Can’t bullshit a bullshitter.’” 

“Very true… How about you, Dad? What’ve you been up to? You know aside from your cryptid hunting with Betsy.”

“Uh, not much…” my mind wanders to the kid. “I’ve been trying to clean up my act…and started hanging out with somebody.”

“Oh, really? Who with?”

“One of my neighbors, he’s…great. He has a daughter too. She’s gonna head to some fancy art school for photography. I know you’d like them both.” Without noticing I start rambling about all the adventures I’ve had with the kid and as I tell her, I realize there is an almost excited tone coming from my voice. Like I’m some goddamn teenager telling his parent about his first prom.

“That’s great, Dad. Hope I get to meet them some day.”

“Actually, he’s throwing a party for her tomorrow. I’m sure there'll be free food. If you want to be my plus one?” I wait for her to answer.

“Yeah, why not? Free food.”

“Awesome… Listen, Val, thanks for reaching out… I know that I haven’t really earned it but… I appreciate the visit.”

“No problem… Thanks for having me.” We sit silently finishing up our coffee. We have a long way to go but this is a good start.


	10. Chapter 10

I'm on the porch smoking a cigarette, waiting for Val to show up so we could head to the party together. I know I shouldn't be nervous, I mean the initial shock of seeing her again has worn off, but part of me is still scared that she won't show up. I puff out smoke in a sigh of relief when I see Val's black Mercedes pulling into the cul-de-sac. I put out my cigarette and meet her in the driveway.

"Good afternoon," she says as she steps out, looking as elegant as ever. She looks at me for a while. "You shaved?"

"Um, yeah," I answer coyly as a scratch my chin. "Showered too."

"You look good. Proud of you, Old Man."

I blush at her comment. "Thanks, er, we should probably head over."

She wraps her arm around my mine. "Lead the way then."

My heart skips a beat and all I can manage to do is dumbly nod at her.

We get to the kid's backyard and see that everyone's there already. Ugh, even Joseph. Kid's too nice for his own good. Actually, where is he? I don't see him around.  
As I scan the party, Damien walks up to me. "Robert, how do you find yourself on this wondrous evening?"

"I'm good, Dames. Uh, this is my daughter, Val. She's here visiting."

"Oh heavens, what a lovely surprise! Pleased to make your acquaintance. I'm Damien Bloodmarch." Val reaches in for a handshake but Damien pulls her hand up to his lips and gives it a small peck. I see Val's eyebrow tweak up slightly. I forgot it takes a while to get used to Damien's overzealous mannerisms.

"Nice to meet you, Damien. I like your sense of style. Victorian, right?" Smart girl.

"Thank you very much! It's not every day that I meet someone who can distinguish my style," he blushes.

Oh, boy she’s done it now. Before he starts gushing, I ask casually "So, Damien, do you know where the kid is? I don't see him around?"

"Oh, he's inside greeting Amanda. She sure does have delightful surprise coming." Yep, leave it to the kid to go all out for her. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to try some of that delectable icebox cake over there. It was lovely meeting you, Val,” he waves as he makes his leave with a flick of his cloak.

“He’s nice,” Val comments. “A bit eccentric, but he’s cool.”

“Don’t be fooled by his charm, Val,” I warn. “I’m still convinced that he’s secretly a vampire.”

“Huh, that would explain why his hand was so cold. Also, he probably wanted to have a taste of me before supper.”

“Atta girl. You have a keen eye.” I pat her shoulder lightly. I see the kid come out to the backyard with Amanda and I kinda grip Val’s shoulder instinctively.

She looks up to me and probably notices the edginess in my face. She puts her hand over mine and gives it a squeeze. “Just ‘hanging out,’ huh?” she snickers.

I let out a nervous laugh, “Is it that obvious?”

“Yep. So he’s the man who has my old man’s heart in knots.” She gives me a small smile, “Do you want to go talk to him?”

“I-I…not right now,” I stammer. “It’s just…we have some things to talk about and… I’m not ready.”

“Hey, it’s fine. I know it’s hard for you…” she reassures. “Whenever, you’re ready I’ll be at the snack table. That mac and cheese is calling to me.” She lets go and I watch her waltz away.

I feel a tap on my shoulder. “You haven’t replaced have you, you bastard.”

I don’t even need to turn around. “I’d never replace you, Mary,” I promise.

“I’ll hold you to it,” she says sipping her wine. “So who’s the new girl?” She points in Val’s direction.

“My kid,” I state.

Mary’s eyes widen and I notice her choke a little. “ _She’s_ your daughter? Wow, some friend you are. Didn’t even tell me you two were talking.”

“Sorry, Mare… I just wanted to make sure things were alright before telling you.”

She doesn’t press anymore and looks over at Val happily munching on her mac and cheese. “She’s got your eyes, you know?”

“Thank God, that’s all she got from me,” I hum with a bitter tone. I see how well she turned out and I know it was no thanks to me.

“Hey, give yourself some credit. She’s here now so you couldn’t have fucked up that badly.”

“Heh, you always know what to say don’t you, Mary?”

“Damn straight. Ugh, Chris, what did I say about pulling on your sister’s hair?” she scolds, leaving to diffuse the situation. Bless her soul.

I sit myself down on a bench underneath a cherry blossom tree and try to wind myself down. Oh shit, they’re talking to each other! I see the kid and Val chatting. What are they saying? Oh God, are they talking about me? I take a breather when I see them smiling at each other. I find comfort knowing that the two people I care for in this world are getting along. Amanda walks up to the conversation, as chipper as ever. She looks at Val up and down with a look of admiration and honestly, I feel a surge of pride. I watch Val break away and head towards Mary, who’s now carrying two glasses of wine. I’m not even worried, I’m sure those two are gonna get along just fine. I tilt my head back and watch the petals delicately fall down with the breeze, hypnotizing me into serenity.

“Hey.” Val shakes my shoulder. I come to and realize that people are slowly trickling away from the party. “This was fun, but I think I’m gonna head back to the hotel. Besides…” she looks over her shoulder at the kid, who’s sort of anxiously looking at our direction. “I think you guys need to talk.”

“Yeah… Thanks for coming to the party, Val.”

“No problem, Dad, and good luck,” she says as she walks out of the backyard.

The kid starts walking over to me and sits down beside me under the cherry blossom tree. What kind of shitty romance movie has my life become?

“Hey,” I start.

“Hey.”

I motion to the snack table, “Good stuff.” Real smooth, Robert.

“Yep… So…I had a chance to talk to Val.”

“She physically threaten you?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s my girl,” I laugh.

“She says you’re doing better.”

“Trying to work on the vices. I also showered today.” It sounds stupid that I mentioned that but part of me wants him to know I’m trying. Silence falls between us until I finally thank him for what he said to me the other night.

“I’m glad.”

I finally muster enough courage to tell him how I feel. The words that my mouth has been begging to say. “I like you, Kid. I like you a lot. I haven’t felt this way in a long time.” There it’s done. Even if he might not feel the same, at least I got it out of my chest.

He tilts his head at me and gives me a soft smile. He leans in and presses his lips to mine, sending a wave of heat through every inch of my body. I wish I could hold onto this kiss longer, feel my lips tingle against his, but…I can’t… I know I’m not worthy of him yet. With a heavy heart, I pull away from him, leaving a confused look on his face. I reach for his hand and hold it in mine. I sigh, “You’re…special to me… But…I have stuff to work on…uh, emotionally…before I can get into anything romantic with you.” God, I’m so bad at this sensitive shit. “You deserve better than who I am right now.” I mean that with every part of my soul. I’ve only thought of myself, now I have to think about him…and Val too. “I need to be on my own for a bit. Figure some things out.” I would understand if he doesn’t want to wait for me. He can be happy with anyone in this neighborhood so why would he accept—

“Of course,” he responds. Phew. “I think what you need right now is a friend. And I’m very happy to be that for you.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.” I gently squeeze his hand.

“And if you’re ever ready for more than that…you know where to find me,” he offers.

“Let’s hunt ghosts sometime?”

“I would love that.” I feel him rest his head on my shoulder and we watch the sun starting to set. No matter what happens, I want to remember this along with every moment we’ve had together. I’m taking a risk with him. I might stumble a few times along this road of recovery and I might not be able to get where I want to be. He might get tired of waiting and move on to someone new. These are things that I can’t predict, but…he’s worth it. It’s all worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaannddd roll credits! Thanks so much for reading. I want to write another part, but it might take me a while to get to it. Hopefully you stick around to find out!


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